[In contrast to the handful of messages that Peridot has sent out to the network in the past, there’s no dramatic lead in to her video message this time. It’s just her, in front of the camera, looking exhausted and just generally annoyed, and she cuts right to the chase:]

…So apparently I’ve been “gone” from this world for a significant amount of time, however that’s supposed to work.

[There’s a moment where she seems like she’s going to ask for some kind of explanation, but you know what? Ugh. No. She’s not going to bother complaining or trying to make sense of this nonsense. YOU WIN, JOHTO. Forget questioning the mechanics of time and space here, this gem’s just going to move on to the bigger fish that need frying:]

I don’t suppose anyone has any idea where I might find the rest of my Pokemon? Clod’s here, [and sure enough, the little Elgyem is poking her head into frame, and she looks pleased as punch to be reunited with her trainer,] but the rest are conspicuously absent.

[Midnight approaches, and with it, Glitch City. Anyone who answers her call is in for a potentially unpleasant conversation, once everything around turns into blocks.]

[The Pokegear camera focuses in just a little too close on an eager face, beaming broadly. It's a young woman, the same one that was broadcasting in a hysterical panic from Ilex Forest more than a month back... except, y'know. She's not green anymore. And there's something kind of unsettlingly wicked about her expression?]

Hello, Johto. I hope you're prepared to be awestruck, because have very exciting information to share with you all.

[She clears her throat, sits up a little straighter before continuing. Clod the Elgyem is visible, too, hovering at her shoulder as usual.]

It has now been well over one full Earth month since I was first abducted into this world. In that time, I will admit, it has been something of a... struggle, trying to understand the ways of this dimension. [a brief, dark scowl:] Yes... It hasn't been easy. But! I have remained determined throughout my time here to master the ways of this world, and the horrifying monsters that inhabit it. Well... Today, I have achieved something that I previously thought impossible!

[She starts to lean out of frame briefly.] BEHOLD--!

[Pause. Clod drifts a little closer to gaze right into the camera with its abyssal green eyes, while Peridot is distracted: There's angry grunts and mutterings coming from off screen.] Hey! No, come here you little-- a-ha! [She sits up again. Frowns at her Elgyem briefly before pushing it sort of gently out of the way with her elbow, so that she can hold up the most stunningly average, run-of-the-mill looking Rattata up to the screen. It's clearly nothing special, but the way Peridot's grinning about it, you'd think that the little creature was blessed by the Diamonds themselves.] BEHOLD! Just this morning, I subdued and captured this small purple beast and bent it to my will, and now it obeys my every command!

[She leans in again, snickering.] Be very afraid, Johto, for this is only the beginning! Very soon, this small purple beast and I will be unstoppable!

Until next time... Peridot, out.

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FRESH STARTER PACK

-- 1 Team Rocket Official Uniform
-- 3 changes of undergarments
-- 1 12oz bottle of liquid soap (this can double as laundry detergent)
-- 1 8oz bottle of shampoo; 1 8oz bottle of conditioner
-- 1 washcloth, 2 towels (one small, one larger), 1 toothbrush, 1 travel-sized pack of toothpaste
-- Trail Mix
-- Team Rocket Guide
-- 1 pokeball containing the secondary Rocket starter (Houndour)

-- 1 PokéGear
-- 5 Potions
-- 1 Repel, 1 MaxRepel
-- 1 Escape Rope
-- 5 PokéBalls
-- P3000
-- TM 97: Dark Pulse (reusable, Christmas 2015)